Made new friends, but I kept the old ones,
Some are gilded and some are golden,
Made new friends, but I kept the old ones.

Sometimes I think about the time when I was
Five years old, on the jungle gym climbing.
I’m not concocting this story, not making it up,
I had torn my britches, you could see my booty.
I frowned with indignation, ‘cause it wasn’t fair,
My situation was patently, clearly unfair.
I thought it was an inextricable situation,
With no way out like a hedge maze, when:
My friend Brendan came over to me,
And told me how to walk out of there discreetly,
Surreptitiously, so that no one could see me.
We moved with alacrity and quickly.
Our friendship next manifested and showed itself at his house,
Erecting pillow-forts on his couch.
He built a grandiose fort with a tower in back.
My fort was so meager it looked like a shack.
I was feeling jealous and envious.
He was magnanimous enough, generous enough,
Munificent enough to let me come into his fort and play with his stuff.
Now that’s a true friend . . .

Made new friends, but I kept the old ones,
Some are gilded and some are golden,
Made new friends, but I kept the old ones.

Now a girlfriend can be your best friend, too,
You can play chess and you can practice jujitsu.
My girl’s so affable and amiable,
She’s always acting conciliatory and agreeable.
You know there’s no hierarchy in our relationship,
We’re on the same plane like Wes Snipes and terrorists.
Like the linchpin in my life, you know she holds everything together,
So when we weather the storm, and whether the weather
Is inclement or sunny, we carry on like that bunny with the drum,
Joyful, jubilant, always having fun.
When I’m feeling blue, she alleviates my symptoms like a drug.
If I’m acting like a thug she’s going to chastise me,
Criticize me severely, elucidates my problems, clarifies them clearly.
We keep communication limpid, not too complex,
Clearer than a window that just got Windexed.
We’ll be together to the ultimate, together to the last,
The way we dance like we’ve just been choreographed.
I don’t mean to be idolatrous, fawn over her too much,
But I need to extol and praise her.

Made new friends, but I kept the old ones,
Some are gilded and some are golden,
Made new friends, but I kept the old ones.

Your friends might be less visible, too,
I have a diaphanous friend who’s completely see-through.
He’s spectral and apparitional like a ghost,
Not in a coma but so lethargic, he’s comatose.
Like a tiger full of tranquilizers, he’s mostly benign,
But sometimes he gets mendacious and then he starts lying.
He attempts calumny, tries to defame people spreading lies,
Libel, and slander, He maligns them forever.
An impudent and rude guy, he’s puerile,
Juvenile, immature, he’s full of guile,
Deceitful, he bilks me out of milk money, cheats me,
Beats me at Guess Who?, he guesses correctly.
He’s telepathic, a mind reader, a soothsayer,
Fortune-teller, a seer.
He’s an inveterate prankster, who pulled pranks since he was born,
He’ll star-sixtynine my friends when I get off the phone.
He’ll delude my friends into believing he’s me,
We have the same voice, they have no choice, they’re compelled to believe.
Despite that we’re good friends, live in camaraderie,
Share our desserts, we share a brain, he’s a part of me . . .

Made new friends, but I kept the old ones,
Some are gilded and some are golden, made
New friends, but I kept the old ones.