From hiding inside a wooden horse to blinding a Cyclops, Odysseus has really been through the ringer. In this Odyssey rap, we explore all the adventures he endured while trying to make it home to his wife and son. Will Penelope fall for one of her many suitors? Will Odysseus return home safely? How much does Poseidon really hate him? You may never have heard Homer’s Odyssey in a rap song. But you’re about to.
This video was produced through a partnership with READ Magazine.
This my Odyssey, they call me Odysseus,
You want an epic? Here’s a frame, picture this:
I was living in Ithaca, that’s in Greece,
Me and Penelope, we were living in peace,
Then I took off for the Trojan War,
It was really real, till I found their Achilles’ heel,
We were hidden in a horse, there was no detection,
The Trojans, they were left with no protection,
Yeah they got killed, I thought that was the end,
It’s time to sail home, and kick it with my friends,
And see my wife, yeah that would have been nice,
But you can’t predict your fate like a roll of the dice,
Next up? The land of the Lotus-Eaters,
Where Bob Marley jams will blow your speakers
A few of my people turned to addicts,
It was savage, their brains turned to cabbage,
We moved on, a new island, quiet,
Until we met a dude, a one-eyed giant,
Oh man, I hope he didn’t need eye drops,
This son of Poseidon was a Cyclops,
He invited us into his cave,
My whole crew, yeah we were feeling brave,
Until he took a bite of one of my men,
It looked painful, man I won’t even pretend.
Now I laced up my high tops, fight or die,
I speared that Cyclops right in the eye,
Nah, he wasn’t dead, but he was blinded though,
To escape we clung to the undersides of goats,
Yeah it’s kind of gross,
We had to play it close to the goats like butter played toast, (you know!)
This is Odysseus, I miss my lady,
This trip is crazy, and I just want to go…
Oh take me home,
After all that I’ve been through
I’m coming back to see you.
Landed on an island ruled by a goddess lady,
Yeah, she was cute, but she was also crazy,
This witch Circe turned my crew into swine,
But Hermes taught your boy to rewind,
Then we lay on the island suntan baking,
Circe and me? We were basically dating.
So after a year of this vacation,
It was time to move on, there was no more waiting,
It might sound crazy, but we sailed for Hades,
For those who can’t tell, Hades is Hell…
All the dead souls began to speak,
I’m tough, usually but I began to freak,
Now the sirens will sing a song that’ll melt your heart,
Then the bird ladies will tear your limbs apart,
So I had my men tie me to the mast,
Thank Athena! We finally passed,
Dang, then I got trapped on an island,
Calypso the nymph, she must be wiling,
She’s got me locked up, I guess she’s got a crush,
On yours truly, I’m not surprised that much,
Cause I’m built like the Colossus of Rhodes,
Noble and smart there’s a lot that I know,
It’s been ten years since the fall of Troy,
And I still haven’t seen my wife or my boy,
All these creeps back home trying to creep with my wife,
Thinking of it’s got me hardly even sleeping at night,
Yeah, I know Penelope’s keeping me in her heart,
But the suitors don’t care if she’s married or not,
With the help of the Gods, especially Athena,
I finally get my feet back to Greece,
So I show up like a beggar dressed in rags,
And the suitors diss me, man these fellows are bad,
But Penelope thinks it might be me,
So she sets up a little test of archery,
Yeah, I win the tournament; I’m a Hades-of-a-shot,
Then I turn my bow on the suitors and make them drop,
Yeah, pop, pop, you shouldn’t have been messing
with my wife when I was gone over seas, that’s the lesson,
Now I that I’m home (err…) that’s got to be,
The final chapter of my Odyssey. I’m back…
A very prominent Greek scholar recently pointed out to us that it was actually sheep that Odysseus and his men clung to as they escaped. Not goats.
"By god, I'd rather slave on earth for another man-some dirt-poor tenant farmer who scrapes to keep alive-than rule down here over all the breathless dead."
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