|
 |
The transformation of bookworms
Into hip-hop icons,
A dictionary and a microphone,
A dictionary and a mic.
(x2)
Now this here’s a story for the fellows and ladies,
Sporting pocket protectors and socket inspectors and
Marking their vectors, glasses thick, they’re myopic,
Short-sighted, they can’t see the crumbs on their lips.
They don’t say the word “think,”
They say “ratiocinate.”
They don’t render “repeat,”
They say “recapitulate.”
When they speak they’re wordy and loquacious
Verbose and gregarious, so many words it’s hilarious.
They study elocution, the art of public speaking,
But they talk in circumlocutions, indirect language.
They’re recalcitrant, defiant and unapologetic.
Write an essay on Shakespeare for extra-credit.
So cogent and smart that it changes the field,
It’s seminal and original.
Their meritorious work always deserves merit,
They revise and redact their papers, they edit.
They placate their parents, soothe them out,
By always getting good grades and never leaving the house.
To them homework is never tedious, dull and boring,
They’re never snoring or yawning,
They’re working evening and morning.
They have tomes, large books in their homes,
Which they read and peruse when they’re talking
To you on the phone.
They know about Pokemon, Everquest, Insects,
Entomology, Dungeons and Dragons, and chess.
The transformation of bookworms into hip-hop icons,
A dictionary and a microphone,
A dictionary and a mic.
(x2)
Now if you’ve ever felt left out and ostracized, like a pariah,
Try Flocabulary Cereal with fiber.
We put the k in Outkast, persevere, persist and outlast,
We’re part of this complete breakfast.
Your latent skills, hidden skills, will burgeon and blossom,
After one bite, it’ll be awesome.
If you’re following the serving suggestions diligently, carefully,
You’ll be more hip-hop than Run DMC.
You’ll be the paragon of animals, the model of perfection,
Blowing up the session like a Mormon on a mission.
Your house will be more roomy and commodious,
You’ll be more clairvoyant than Nostradamus.
Gaze into your crystal ball,
More cosmopolitan than Carrie Bradshaw,
With her humongous, vast, voluminous, exorbitant,
Extensive, extravagant collection of shoes, sophisticated shoes.
You’ll be larger than a colossus,
Tony Danza will ask you who the boss is.
Summarize in a speech and give a synopsis.
Your speech will have that cadence,
That rhythm, progression of sound,
That makes people cavort, dance, and get down.
You used to have a boisterous loud laugh,
People used to think of you as crazy and daft.
Now you’re so deft and skilled, you’ve got mass appeal,
People crowd around you like Jesus eating his last meal.
You know?
The transformation of bookworms into hip-hop icons,
A dictionary and a microphone,
A dictionary and a mic.
(x2)
|
