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I’m J-O-E, spell the word in all caps,
I’m the biggest nerd in the World of Warcraft.
I’m not popular, I get excluded and left out,
Whenever the popular kids go out.
I’ve tried to cultivate a sense of fashion,
Make my style grow, but, um, nothing happened.
Here’s an idiom: I’m over the top,
I’ve got a crush on Lisa, she’s totally hot.
Would she go out with me? Totally not.
She’s so popular that she only dates jocks.
I was reluctant to pass her a note, hesitating,
What if her friends saw, and made it a joke?
But Lisa’s bright like a guiding light, a beacon,
I approached hardly breathing.
I said, “I know I’m subordinate to you, lower in rank,
But, um, I wanted to know if you wanted to think
About going to Red Lobster to eat up some shrimp,
With me, plus unlimited salad and bread sticks?”
I waited for her decision, her verdict,
She mumbled something, I hardly heard it.
I said, “I didn’t hear you, Lisa, what did you say?”
She said, “Sure...we can go on a date.”
Oh man, could it really be?
The most popular girl is dating me!
Lisa, you’re hotter than a piece of pizza,
Please believe uh, I would never leave ya.
I don’t know, Joe, I don’t really think so,
I’m more popular at school than cell phones.
(x2)
So Lisa had consented and agreed,
To get picked up at a quarter to three.
I saw Lisa come out of her house from afar,
And I thought of what to say when she got in the car:
“Lisa, they should have passed a law,
Some legislation against being so hot.”
The Red Lobster was convenient, easy to reach,
So five minutes later, we were taking a seat.
We ordered lots of food, it was abundant,
So much of it, we were loving it.
Now for me, my manners have evolved,
Changed over the years, as I’ve gotten tall.
But Lisa had a bad quality, a bad trait,
She kept her mouth wide open when she ate.
I saw shrimp, potato salad, Diet Coke and some coleslaw,
She went for another bite, but hold on.
I don’t want to see food chewed when you chew seafood
So when you chew, keep your mouth shut, dude.
It’s not cool, Miss Popular, it’s so gross,
If you’ve never seen this girl eat, then you don’t know.
Our relationship fell apart
And deteriorated quick after just one date.
But from that date, I got some clarity,
Seeing her food made me see that she wasn’t for me.
Yo Joe, you’re hotter than a hot plate,
You just took me on a hot date.
Well, like a summer doesn’t need a heater, I don’t need ya,
Like Evita told Argentina, don’t cry for me, Lisa.
(x2)
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